Look down and see him pull back, with your pre-cum dangling from your tip to his lips. Enjoy picturing that it's your hard prick that's being swallowed down to the base. Watch them place it between their lips and draw it deep. These men give blowjobs, where they start by flicking the tip of the hard cock, running their tongue down the shaft, and back up. “Due to this, people who do not enjoy or prefer not to engage in penetrative anal sex have been shamed, or dismissed by many within the gay community itself.Beat off to the best gay oral sex videos of men swallowing cum and 69ing each other. Indrajeet Ghorpade, the founder of YesweexistIndia – an Instagram page that focuses on queer issues and raising awareness about transphobia in popular media – believes that the society at large only sees penetrative sexual activity as “real” sex. I’ve received an occasional, ‘Oh, then how does it work?’ As if sex without penetration is unfathomable.” By telling someone about not wanting anal sex, you run the risk of marginalising yourself further. “They think that the fear is that you’re already in a marginalised community. “I know a lot of people in the queer community who don’t enjoy topping or bottoming but refrain from using the word side,” said Badal, a 32-year-old architect and drag designer based in New York and Jabalpur. There are times when people on dating apps are scared to refer to themselves as sides, fearing rejection and isolation. While queer men are getting familiarised with the term on a global scale and trying to adapt it into their own settings, there are still those judging them for not being in a clearly pre-determined bracket of gay sex. You also better pray that the top is into eating ass, because if not, he’s entering the field on a rather dry pitch, and no amount of lubrication can help your sphincter ease into the onslaught of a cock.
On the other hand, the tops have to just show up. When it does come down to anal sex, though, it’s unfair that the onus is on the bottoms mostly, wherein they have to starve themselves, douche, clean, and wait until the moment arrives. So, over time, if I meet a fellow “versatile top,” we don’t mind just cuddling, making out, rimming, handjobs, blowjobs, 69ing – things that would otherwise be considered foreplay and not as much fun as “fucking each other’s brains out.” A medical condition that lead to anal fissures – a tissue tear that makes eating spicy food a near impossible task – made taking a dick out of the question for me. I’ve personally never enjoyed getting fingered. We need to take a second here to address that anal sex, although pleasure-inducing when done right, can be a nightmare when it’s not backed up with a strict regimen. Akash feels only a side can truly empathise with another side. “The first reaction I often get from other queer men is, ‘What’s a side?’ and after I tell them, their next statement is, ‘Oh you're just a bottom who doesn't want to admit it,’ or ‘If you haven't tried anal, how can you call yourself a side?’” said Akash, a 36-year-old communications designer who preferred to withhold his last name for privacy reasons.
That’s mostly because gay men who confess to preferring the position are often met with judgement from their own ilk. And although that would make many conservative Indians including my mom happy, there’s so much more to being a side that is generally dismissed. On paper, a side in bed is someone who doesn’t want to perform the act of anal sex. But earlier this month, Grindr – a dating app for queer people – officially introduced “side” as a sexual option on the app, making it easier for many men to finally put a term to what they enjoy in bed.Ĭoined in 2013 by sex and relationship therapist Joe Kort, who himself is queer and identifies as a side, the term has gained steam only recently. However, if you didn’t prefer anal sex, the option on Grindr used to be: “no anal.” As dismissive as that sounds, there simply was no other way to convey that you didn’t want to have penetrative sex but that that wasn’t all there was to sex.